Do any of you men and women watch Entourage? Well on this week's episode, Season 6, Episode 10 "Berried Alive," Eric broke up with his girlfriend, Ashley, just the way that you're supposed to break up with a person. Since a lot of you ask me how to break up with someone the right way, I think this episode is a good guide.
Eric met Ashely in a restaurant, ordered drinks and then told her exactly how he felt. He told her that she said that she wasn't crazy when they first met, even though she acted nuts, and he gave her the benefit of the doubt. However, she only calmed down for a short while and then funneled her "crazy" back into the relationship. He then gave specific examples as to why everything she does "points to crazy." Ashley totally blew up in the restaurant, but she only ended up making a fool of herself.
Eric was honest, up front and didn't leave the conversation with a, "Can we still be friends?" He basically said, "So long. See you around." He made a clean break and walked away guilt-free.
Sure, he was only with Ashley for a few months, so he didn't owe her anything. But what he did was WAY more mature than going the "text" or "email" route.
1) Meet the person in public not too far away from THEIR house. That way if they end up a total mess, they won't have too far to drive home with tears in their eyes.
2) Tell them EXACTLY why you want to break up. The "it's not you, it's me" thing is not going to fly. People REALLY want to know why - and if you've read any of the advice posts on this blog, then you know it's a common theme in breakup recovery. Just tell them why. It'll make it easier on them in the long run, although it will sting initially.
3) Make a clean break. Don't tell him you still want to be friends. Just say why you want to break up and find a way to get out of there. Most likely your now-ex will storm out first, but you never know. If you really, really want to be friends, then call your ex (no emails, no texts) a few months down the road after he's had time to process the breakup. It's not fair to stay in your ex's life when you know for sure that he isn't over you. Give your ex time to grieve. When you do call, make it absolutely, 100% clear that you only want to be friends.
4) Give your ex time to grieve. Don't call. Don't text. Don't email. Don't IM. As stated above, it's not fair to your ex. If immediately after the breakup, your ex calls to talk, then feel free to answer any questions they may have. But ultimately, perhaps after 2 weeks, you should just tell your ex that you'd like to make a clean break and the best way to do that is to stop talking. Again, it'll hurt your ex initially, but it's better in the long run - and feel free to tell your ex that.
5) Move on. You'll feel guilty about it for awhile, but that's normal. Give yourself time before you begin to date someone seriously again. Play the field and have fun.
Yeah, it takes guts to break up with someone. But when you do it face-to-face and tell the person WHY you're breaking up, you'll avoid a whole slew of problems down the road. And you'll be doing your ex a big favor. It's not that hard. You can do it! Just take pointers from Eric's character on Entourage.