What If Her Libido Is Higher Than His?
Advice from three of EMandLO.com's guy friends. This week they answer the following: "What would most guys think about dating a woman whose sex drive was higher than his? Would it be awesome? Annoying? Lead to insecurities? Make you think less (or more) of her? All of the above?" To ask the guys your own question, click here.
Straight Single Guy (Mark Luczak): Not possible, right? (What sex drive is higher than wanting it all the time?) Actually, as awesome as this sounds at first glance for the stereotypical hornball guy, in reality any dissonance in sex drive can be challenging on many levels (I've been on both sides of it to at least some degree). Feeling attractive and desired is unquestionably wonderful, but if someone simply happens to be in the mood less frequently, it can be uncomfortable for all involved. In the gender roles here, the guy might feel that he's perpetually disappointing, while the girl might easily start to feel insecure emotionally and physically over why every opportunity isn't taken.
With a strong enough couple and commitment, though, a variance in sex drive is hardly insurmountable. Communication and genuine willing flexibility can certainly overcome the challenges and leave everyone more than fulfilled.
Gay Single Guy (Daniel): Most guys would probably love it if the woman they were dating had a high sex drive. I mean, isn't that part of the fantasy of women in porn? A hyper-sexualized woman? I think it would only lead to insecurity if the man himself were insecure.
Straight Married Guy (David Felsen): A) First of all, that's just impossible. No. Wait. There was this South African woman who nearly broke me. Serves me right for dating a rolfer. I still get panic attacks whenever I hear a voo voo zela.
B) Trust me, there's nothing "awesome" about a dislocated sacrum, a desiccated scrotum, and a deviated vas deferens. If you see a guy hunched sideways at a urinal or a tree holding a right angle and two golden raisins, it's me. And yes, it's "annoying." I can't say her libido "lead to insecurities," as that started when my sister told me I was adopted.
C) "Think less of her?" I wouldn't dare. I hope she's found another guy to love…to death.
D) "All of the above."
Our "guys" are a rotating group of contributors. This week's Straight Married Guy is NY writer-comedian David Felsen; our Gay Guy is one-time stripper and sex columnist Daniel; and our Straight Single Guy is Mark Luczak, a tech geek at Carnegie Mellon University. To ask the guys your own question, click here.
