Would You Take Back a Guy Who Hit You?
Fans are up in arms because singers Chris Brown and Rihanna have been communicating via Twitter.
Both Rihanna and Brown are downplaying the social media contact, maintaining that simple tweets do not a reunion make.
But it does raise questions: Can a physically abusive man change his ways? And should a woman allow herself to trust an abusive man a second time?
The Chris Brown-Rihanna relationship seems to be undergoing a slow process of healing. Brown was served a restraining order after assaulting Rihanna, who was his girlfriend at the time. Earlier this year, the restraining order - which originally required that Brown stay at least 50 feet away from her - was downgraded to a level that allows close contact betwen the two. Tweeting across the internet certainly isn't a violation either way.
But suppose they get back together? Many fans will wonder if it's the right thing for Rihanna (not that it's our call, but that's the price you pay for fame).
Everyone deserves a second chance. However, abuse and cheating are two exceptions to this rule. It's debatable whether a cheater or abuser can change their ways.
I've always wondered why a woman would stay with a guy who hit her. Physical abuse never seems to be a "one-and-done" deal. And if even if it was, should a man be commended because he "only hit his girlfriend/wife one time in all the years they knew each other?"
From all accounts, Chris Brown has taken his anger management and counseling seriously. He's made progress, and acknowledged the problem. Working on himself for another chance to be with Rihanna is a noble cause. Just like a recovering addict, he may come back stronger with a unique perspective.
But when it comes to cheating and abuse, I would not allow a single slipup. If you were cheated on or abused once, would you consider maintaining the relationship?
Maybe offenders can be rehabilitated, but their behavior leaves too many scars on their past relationships. In light of this, perhaps it's best for a recovered abuser to start anew with someone else. And it's probably best for a woman who's been abused to steer clear or a rehabilitated ex and seek out a worthy mate.
Can an abuser be rehabilitated? Would you allow a friend, family or yourself to give an abuser a second chance? What is your boiling point with this behavior?
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