User Post: The Secret Reasons Your Coworker is Difficult

Photo Credit: Copyright Amy SederPhoto Credit: Copyright Amy Seder

By Julie Miller,

Have you ever felt like a coworker hated you from the moment you met? You didn't necessarily do anything to get on her bad side. It's almost like there was a pre-determined bitterness to your presence at the office and no matter what you did to make her like you, you could tell that deep down inside she was not happy to be working with you.

Of course there are a few reasons why a coworker could not like you (for instance, if you insist on eating tuna fish for lunch every day in your shared office, or you manage to take credit for all of her work…), but there are a few times when it actually has nothing to do with you. Here are a few:

  • You got the job she wanted - If you just started a new job and your coworker is in a position lower than you, it's possible she wanted the promotion but was told she wasn't ready for it yet. Nothing against you, but she's angry at her company and you're an easy target to let out her frustration (she'd never be passive agressive to her boss if she knew what was best for her).
  • She found out you make more money - As much as we'd like to think word about salary doesn't get around, there are some times when people overhear things or rumors get spread. If there's any indication you make more money than her while she's doing the same job as you, how could she not resent you?
  • She's dealing with personal stuff - We've all been through a bad breakup or family drama. It's stuff that you can't bring to work, but sometimes it affects your attitude without you even realizing it. Your coworker might be going through something and that explains her bad mood and negative attitude towards you.

So, if you have a difficult coworker, it's important to diffuse the situation as soon as possible. Instead of confronting her about it directly and giving her the chance to act defensive, just say, "I'd really love to catch up with you outside of work. Would you want to do dinner or drinks one night?" When she gets to know you and realizes you're not threatening her job and can be on her side, things will be much better for the both of you!


Life2PointOh is a 20-something blog with the focus on conquering the Quarter Life with tips and tricks in entertaining, relationships, career, style and more.

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