Worries in long term relationships and how to deal with them

After you've been dating someone for awhile, you may notice a set of worries start to creep up out of nowhere. Some of these worries stem from past relationships or general insecurity while others are completely new concerns that come about because you want the relationship to work that badly. The biggest issue with these worries is that, if you're not careful, they can cause you to put a strain on your relationship and make it implode. Ignoring the following worries is easier said than done, so how do you take back control and deal with them?

The sex will get bland

The sex is hot in the beginning but usually slowly loses a bit of spark as the relationship progresses. A big problem that occurs is that couples continue to let that spark diminish until there's nothing left but scheduled missionary-style sex one night a week. It's no wonder so many worry about sex getting bland the longer a relationship continues. The biggest way to keep this from happening is to never let sex get predictable: try new positions, have sex in different places and jump him for a quickie on his lunch hour. The two of you can take sex cues from each other to keep the spark going.

He won't marry you

One of the biggest concerns I hear from women in long-term relationships is that they're worried the guy won't take the walk down the aisle. First off, if your guy is telling you he doesn't want to get married or isn't particularly sure about it, take him for his word. Don't be one of those women who sticks around waiting for a proposal because she thinks he'll change, then ends up in tears years later because she never got one and feels like she wasted her time. If he says he doesn't want to get married but you do, then you're going to have to decide to either stay with him as is or move onto someone else. If you want to know where he stands on marriage, talk to him about it. Don't bring the subject up in the beginning of the relationship, but when it does come up, the two of you can discuss where you stand on the topic and you can take it from there.

You'll lose your independence

Couples eventually turn into a "we." Before long you're getting "we" invites, you're making plans for the both of you to attend events, holidays and couple outings and it seems like you spend more time together or talking to each other when the two of you are out of work than you have time by yourself. Having your independence while in a relationship is vital. Of course you have to compromise and balance your time, but don't smother each other with dates, texts and emails, don't cut down on your favorite hobbies and make sure to have at least one night a week where you stay in by yourself doing whatever you want. A great guy will understand this need for balance. Keeping your independence can actually help your relationship rather than hinder it.

He'll find someone else

This is one of the worries that usually stems from general insecurity. The more you worry that he's going to find someone else, the more you increase your chances that it'll happen. You project these worries through your actions, which means you'll start to get desperate, clingy, needy and because of that, become unappealing in his eyes. Be confident in who you are and he'll see that. Nothing is more attractive to a guy than a woman with confidence.

Both of you will turn into a boring couple

Many couples fear becoming the boring couple that does the same things every day and disappears off the grid once they get together because they're hiding out with each other. When a couple has been together for awhile, they settle in for more movie nights at home rather than going out. There's nothing wrong with this, but when it becomes a habit, that's when it may also start to become an issue. No one wants to feel like they're boring, which means once they feel they're headed in that direction, they're going to either stick with it or find other ways to add some excitement into their life even if that doesn't involve you. To avoid becoming a boring couple, go on vacations, take spontaneous road trips, try new restaurants, explore new areas and get away from your standard routine. You'd be surprised how getting off the couch and doing something simple but new can add excitement into your relationship.

Everyone has some type of fear or worry when they're in a relationship. It's completely natural, the only issue is making sure they don't take over your thought process. Your guy is with you for a reason - he loves you for who you are. Have faith in that and if you do have any worries, use them to your advantage. Make changes that affect yourself and your relationship in a positive way.

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