Thanksgiving Traditions Past and Present

My mom's favorite day was Thanksgiving. She made every bite of food from the appetizers to the delectable pumpkin pie. The cooking started days before. Year after year, she opened her house to whomever wanted to join. It wasn't a huge house but we managed to always fit the crowds around a formal table. She was typically the most informal of people, but that day it was all about bone china and polished silver and a table set for 35.
If you were her kid and you ever started seriously dating someone, the first thing you did was let them know you would never spend Thanksgiving with their family. When I got engaged, I had to make sure my future husband understood he would no longer spend Thanksgiving with his family, unless they agreed to come to my mom's. That was just how it worked. Turkey day at Toni's was part of the package if you married a Ritz.
When my mom died, it never occurred to us to go our separate ways. My oldest sister offered the hosting duties and everybody grabbed a dish they were responsible for. Just like that, we moved the whole thing to a new location and made it pot-luck, something mom would have never stood for. I remember that first year being so disappointed that nothing tasted right and yet so happy that everything sounded the same. We were all together, and even though the cousins and neighbors and extended in-laws weren't there, the siblings were and that noise was all that mattered.
Six thanksgivings later we gathered at the same house, not the one of our childhood, but the one that has hosted thanksgiving since 2005. I no longer compare the food. The turkey and stuffing are different every year (my sister is much more gourmet than mom) and every bite is more delicious than the last. The china isn't formal and the crowd is always smaller these days as it's just my siblings and their families. My kids and their cousins are old enough now to add their own element to the day so it's no surprise that part of the night this year was spent with a multi-generational Rock Band concert in front of the basement TV.
Six thanksgivings later, it all looks different and yet the love and warmth and laughter that Toni loved for all those years remains. Of course we miss her, but we're comforted by that fact that mom would be proud of her kids. For what tradition is more important than the one that gathers family together in thanks? And that, not the pies or the stuffing, is what she passed on to us.

You can find Cristie writing more about family (and Rock Band) at The Traveling Circus.